The art of being a gentleman

It was a friday evening, and everyone's in high spirits. After all, it was the end of a very hectic week, characterised by 2 outfield exercises and late nights of planning and hard work. My buddy and i were chatting excitedly about the food available in the mess for this evening's happy hour when two of my course mates called us along to help boost the audience number of a talk that was held in the function room.

The topic was social etiquette for guys, and the number of guys listening in to the speaker was pathetically low. We were amused to say the least, for our presence was truly ad hoc in nature. Our minds were lingering on the food that we were suppose to be gobbling down now, and the events we had organised for the night, but here we are, stuck in this room.

It was indeed a little awkward, for it was obvious that the four of us were not interested in the talk at all. To our amusement, at least 2/3 of the guys sitting there were sharing our emotions. Some had food on their plates, some with mugs of beer in their hands, some were checking their sms on the phone. Poor speaker, as much as she tried to engage the audience, we were not too forthcoming. But i had to admit, the topic was really interesting, and i was captivated by the speaker's effort in creating a soothing atmosphere with aroma candles and soft music for her audience. I began to take an interest and picked up my pencil and paper to take down some notes.

The main issue is about a guy and a girl meeting and dating for the first time:

For introduction by a 3rd party, a man is always introduced to a lady. There is no need to exchange names if names were already introduced by the 3rd party. Look at the lady in the eyes and shake her hands firmly. Don't crunch and don't give a dead fish. Initiate yourself with 'Please to meet you.' or 'How do you do?'

For one on one dates, there are 10 rules that guys should observe:

- Allow the lady to enter a restaurant or room first
- Ease out the chair for the lady
- Ask the lady for her order and place her order with the waiter first [place order of equivalent price, don't embarass her order with the depth of your pocket. Don't go to posh places if you don't have the cash.]
- Stand when a lady enters the room [of course the lady should be subsequently introduced to you, don't just stand for any stranger! That'll be damn hilarious.]
- Stand when being introduced to a lady
- Don't be late for a date
- Don't embarass a lady by criticizing her appearance [if she is underdressed, just go to a less posh place.If she had dolled herself up, just choose an appropriate place to match]
- Don't 2 time a lady [ if the 3rd party is having a meal in the same restaurant, you are so dead.] - Don't rush into the elevator ahead of the lady
- Hold the lady's side of the car door open for her [if you have a car! =P Works on taxi doors too!]

For dress code, the following combination is apparently ideal:

- White Base [Shirt]
- Red or Blue tie with yellow or green designs respectively [Red is suppose to be attractive on a guy]
- Nice pen to complement
- Matching pants [usually black]
- Matching shoes [leather shoes are good]
- Slim spec frames [if you wear specs. Contact's good too]

And the side issue was about the ways of carrying ourselves in everyday life

- Walk tall with chin parallel to the ground
- Don't hunch
- Don't over stretch the strides
- Easy swings from sides
- Don't lean against the wall
- Don't place your hands near your nether regions [unless you are hinting to a girl that you're interested in her]
- Don't cross your brows, arms and legs [unless you are really irritated and wants to show it]
- Show your palms when gesturing [indicating openness]
- Don't rub nose or cover mouth when speaking [indicating anxiety and untruth]
- Sit with back of knees against the edge of chair and lean back against it with a straight back , arms on thighs or arms of chair.
- Smile often, but don't over do it [not funny don't smile la]

By then, half of the audience has already left, including the two guys that got me and my buddy in. Apparently, they went to the toilet; those hypocrites! I knew that the food out there is under heavy assault, leaving possibly none for me, but me and my buddy were determined to listen on, for graciousness and interest. Okay, maybe not my buddy, but i'm staying, so he stayed. haha.

The art of being a gentleman is intricate indeed. Walking out of the function room, i felt rewarded for attending the ad hoc talk. Maybe i'll give it a try on future social gatherings and dates. It amuses me once more how the vicissitudes of life can reap such small gems here and there, and how many minds can remain closed to unexpected changes. Maybe the dudes that left early have their appointments, but the two buggers that dragged us there definitely do not. Anyway, that will simply be their loss. But through them, i've reinforced my understanding of not slamming the door shut at something in life without a thorough grasp of it. I should thank them for that. =P

"The brighter you are, the more you have to learn." -Don Herold