Is the Red Carpet rolled out over a minefield?

Monday came with a piece of good news - a SAF Merit Scholarship Selection Board is coming up on April 15. That's definitely something that i can look forward to. Went back to 4 SIR to talk to my boss about the preparations involved for the interview and if i can clear off my Platoon Commander [PC] tour within this year. It seems like Current Affairs and weird questions are hot possibilities. Thing is, i've been so stuck up with my coursework, i can hardly remember when is the last time i flipped a newspaper. It is perhaps possible for me to clear my PC tour by September. But if i am to go to the States, then i'll have to leave by August, which will complicate things. It seems like i'll have to clear my PC tour all over again after i return. And what about SAT II? I've taken none of those, and to enter U Penn, i'll need three of them, at good grades too. How am i going to study for them? Questions, Questions... Questions that will all depend on the selection board.

The ground feeling that i've got from some of my coursemates is that an invitation to a selection board would mean that the scholarship is a huge possibility. On the one hand it is good news, on the other it would mean that the questions that i had earlier on will need urgent answers. It will DEFINITELY be a challenging year ahead.

Really miss the boys in camp, went back to chit chat with the whole bunch of them. They are still that joyous bunch that greets me readily with smiles all around. Boss [Capt Ho] was very kind in answering my questions patiently. He is one good boss that i'll love to work with man. That's the reason why i'll rather finish my PC tour under him than elsewhere. But thinking back, i'll need that one full year of PC tour to really experience what it is like to own a platoon. If i finish a PC tour this year, then i'll be missing alot. It could possibly buy me time to study for my SAT IIs. Good idea, but maybe not in the long run. Will need more consultation on this issue.

Jokes are abound about my D in Discussion as mentioned last week. Zhi Rui was particularly tickled by the fact that he scored the same grade as me. Zhi Rui is a syndicate member of mine from CTC. He seriously doesn't give a dim about anything that happened in class. He sleeps, he drools, he sprouts nonsense and jokes all day; and when asked a question, he will simply say he agree with whatever opinions thrown out earlier. And he scored an A for AOS test! So, he strongly advised that i do exactly what he does in class. I can perhaps improve my grades a little. =P That's rather true, just lay back and soak in the stuff, rather than talk too much. Most will buy that conclusion, but the foolhardy me will still ask questions that irks me nonetheless, though i'm definitely starting to sleep more often in class! Maybe i'll get a C for discussion this time? Hahaha.

Watched City of God - a Brazilian ghetto film in camp on Wednesday. It was a very disturbing story surrounding the forming of an infamous hoodlum gang in this ghetto called the City of God. There was plenty of violence, and sexual insinuations - basically daily dealings within the ghetto. Kids were shooting people for fun, people get mugged everyday and good businesses get robbed. Violence begets violence, the film ends with the hoodlum linchpin - Lil' Ze geting shot by a gang of kids, the oldest of them only an approximate 12 or 13 years old - the age that Lil' Ze murdered an entire motel, about 30 years ago, before launching into a full crime and shooting spree. It was a story told through the eyes of a photographer working for a tabloid agency, who grew up alongside Lil'Ze. There was a comedic theme to the film; portraying a mood that is so nonchalant it was pretty unnerving. It seems like living with violence is as natural as going to work and school everyday. Apparently, City of God was based on a true story. Boy am i glad that i live in Singapore, where people dare to walk on any streets, anytime of the day.

The week ended with a chat with JJ, another coursemate of mine who studied at Berkeley, and have been around the world on backpack trips. He heard that i was going to sign on and gave me his two cents worth of dissuasion. He was very apprehensive of a career in the army. To him, working in the army is equivalent to working with a bunch of idiots and having little hopes of reaching the tops of a larger corporate world out there, to put it very bluntly. He was also worried that i'm getting the scholarship to get away, somewhere, which is myopic and childish.

I made it clear that i'm firstly not in this for the big bucks, but for the experiences that i'll gain from working with people from diverse backgrounds, and the possibility of positively influencing the lives of the multitude that will inevitably pass through the NS phase of their lives with the Army. I'll also like to delve more into the application of tactics and strategies - the area that i'm really interested in. The military business is indeed the most demanding of all human endeavours, at least theorectically. There are inevitably jackasses and idiots who are in it for the cash and prestige, or just to pass time, giving trainees D for Discussion for example. Hahaha... But which organization is entirely purged of these individuals? To be very practical about it, it is the presence of these individuals that will allow you to rise up higher on the hierarchical ladder. This fact applies everywhere. A career with the Army will also allow me to understand more about inter-personal dynamics and how to deal with difficult people with tact - skills that no textbook can teach. Furthermore, which job pays you to keep fit and talk cock?

To go somewhere is everyone's dream, i too wish to visit the places that JJ had been to - Argentina, Chile, Spain, even City of God for that matter, just to check out if it is really that horrible. But Singapore is still my home, and i'm perfectly happy staying here. It is indeed still a viable option to go into travelling in the second career after Army. I'll only be 42 - 45 then; a little more mature, but definitely no less physically or spiritually able than now. As a matter of fact, i'm perfectly fine even without overseas scholarships; i'll be happier to stay at good SMU and carry on paddling!

But studying in a different environment is something that i'll need rather desparately. SMU will likely offer that, but it all started in Wharton School of Business in U Penn, so studying there would be even more ideal. Studying an excellent Econs programme with Chicago U is attractive too. And why am i desparate for a new studying environment? Because i got D for Discussion even when I am encouraged to speak up in class! And i am arrogant for not who i am, but my looks. It has been status quo for a good 12 years of studying before, now it is coming back to haunt me - No-one listens contextually, everyone crawls to the top so that someone else loses for us to win and grades are mostly everything. Sigh, actually a career with the Army will compound this problem. But as a SMS scholar, i will be given the chance to change that, and that is why i'll only go for SMS and nothing else. Anything less is to take away that chance to create my ideal working environment, which i do not need at all.

I'm not sure if JJ was entirely convinced, but I think i am. It is the Red Carpet or never.

'Ah, but is the Red Carpet laid over a minefield?' asked Zhi Rui.

Good question, but as you flip over the carpet to prod for mines, you'll have to step on the Red Carpet first. So far, a few mines are being diffused. At the first knowledge that i can shift the carpet away in a new direction to avoid the mines, i will.