Seize the Chance!

Undeniably, we all are individuals of rich potentials, awaiting that single moment of awakening. Waiting for that one chance to unlock the festering force; one chance to prove to others and ourselves that we are indeed capable of something. But not all would receive their equal dose of opportunities in life at every stage, though rest assured, we will all have little moments of serendipity along the way.

What we do need to accomplish is to first know a given chance when we see one, and seize it thereafter and do the best we can. This week left me ruing my lost chances. They are not too life threatening, but i've got to bite the dust once more and learn from these mistakes.

Monday saw me taking an Appreciation of Situation [AOS] test once more, but the difference between this and the first test earlier on in CTC is the presentation of my plan immediately after. My success in my first ever presentation in CTC left me somewhat complacent with my presentation skills, hence i opted not to rehearse and to have lunch instead, which proved to be an error that would cost me dearly.

In any presentation, the key to success is structure. Structure comes when we are confident of the plan, and more importantly, when we know what to show of the plan and how to do just that. Success is inevitable when the necessary staff aids and their usages at every stage is rehearse in detail. In that light then, it's easy to see why i didn't do so well. 'Failing to plan is planning to fail.' Damn right about that.

But there's no point crying over spilled milk is there? I spent an hour after the test licking my wounds, which i thought was really dumb. So i shut off the lights and went to sleep. There are always chances to redeem myself, and that will be the knowledge test on Tuesday. I've got to look forward, not backwards. So i studied hard for the test and received a good pass.

Thanks to the little graces in life, my good pass in Tuesday's test did indeed cover up my lost ground made on Monday. It's a classic tit for tat story, and i'm glad i'm part of it, learning experientially in the process. Thus, Advanced Infantry Officer Course [AIOC] ended with a soft thud - I made great improvement from CTC with a full grade's increment, though the results are still below par.

My tutor was quick to point out that the 2 courses that passed - CTC and AIOC are really just 2 little episodes in life. There are larger things to accomplish out there. An immediate goal would be further studies, then a career, family and love life. Looking forward to those goals and doing well in them is more important, he said with a beaming smile. How true, but the only difference is that i'm in no way affected by the less than average results. I felt greatly enriched by the entire experience. There were so many lessons to learn, so many skills to master, and so many friends to make. I was glad that i was given this fantastic chance to make honest mistakes, and to know myself much better in the process.

The biggest mistake and lesson that i've learnt - seize the chance when you see one. Another one might come along, but that is simply hope, and hope is not a method of success. Do your best, but if your best is not quite enough, learn the lessons and move on to better things. Dwelling on yesterday and the present moment will be forever lost.

One thing i'm glad about - no one has used the words arrogant and irrelevant on me again. I live easier vindicated.

The art of being a gentleman

It was a friday evening, and everyone's in high spirits. After all, it was the end of a very hectic week, characterised by 2 outfield exercises and late nights of planning and hard work. My buddy and i were chatting excitedly about the food available in the mess for this evening's happy hour when two of my course mates called us along to help boost the audience number of a talk that was held in the function room.

The topic was social etiquette for guys, and the number of guys listening in to the speaker was pathetically low. We were amused to say the least, for our presence was truly ad hoc in nature. Our minds were lingering on the food that we were suppose to be gobbling down now, and the events we had organised for the night, but here we are, stuck in this room.

It was indeed a little awkward, for it was obvious that the four of us were not interested in the talk at all. To our amusement, at least 2/3 of the guys sitting there were sharing our emotions. Some had food on their plates, some with mugs of beer in their hands, some were checking their sms on the phone. Poor speaker, as much as she tried to engage the audience, we were not too forthcoming. But i had to admit, the topic was really interesting, and i was captivated by the speaker's effort in creating a soothing atmosphere with aroma candles and soft music for her audience. I began to take an interest and picked up my pencil and paper to take down some notes.

The main issue is about a guy and a girl meeting and dating for the first time:

For introduction by a 3rd party, a man is always introduced to a lady. There is no need to exchange names if names were already introduced by the 3rd party. Look at the lady in the eyes and shake her hands firmly. Don't crunch and don't give a dead fish. Initiate yourself with 'Please to meet you.' or 'How do you do?'

For one on one dates, there are 10 rules that guys should observe:

- Allow the lady to enter a restaurant or room first
- Ease out the chair for the lady
- Ask the lady for her order and place her order with the waiter first [place order of equivalent price, don't embarass her order with the depth of your pocket. Don't go to posh places if you don't have the cash.]
- Stand when a lady enters the room [of course the lady should be subsequently introduced to you, don't just stand for any stranger! That'll be damn hilarious.]
- Stand when being introduced to a lady
- Don't be late for a date
- Don't embarass a lady by criticizing her appearance [if she is underdressed, just go to a less posh place.If she had dolled herself up, just choose an appropriate place to match]
- Don't 2 time a lady [ if the 3rd party is having a meal in the same restaurant, you are so dead.] - Don't rush into the elevator ahead of the lady
- Hold the lady's side of the car door open for her [if you have a car! =P Works on taxi doors too!]

For dress code, the following combination is apparently ideal:

- White Base [Shirt]
- Red or Blue tie with yellow or green designs respectively [Red is suppose to be attractive on a guy]
- Nice pen to complement
- Matching pants [usually black]
- Matching shoes [leather shoes are good]
- Slim spec frames [if you wear specs. Contact's good too]

And the side issue was about the ways of carrying ourselves in everyday life

- Walk tall with chin parallel to the ground
- Don't hunch
- Don't over stretch the strides
- Easy swings from sides
- Don't lean against the wall
- Don't place your hands near your nether regions [unless you are hinting to a girl that you're interested in her]
- Don't cross your brows, arms and legs [unless you are really irritated and wants to show it]
- Show your palms when gesturing [indicating openness]
- Don't rub nose or cover mouth when speaking [indicating anxiety and untruth]
- Sit with back of knees against the edge of chair and lean back against it with a straight back , arms on thighs or arms of chair.
- Smile often, but don't over do it [not funny don't smile la]

By then, half of the audience has already left, including the two guys that got me and my buddy in. Apparently, they went to the toilet; those hypocrites! I knew that the food out there is under heavy assault, leaving possibly none for me, but me and my buddy were determined to listen on, for graciousness and interest. Okay, maybe not my buddy, but i'm staying, so he stayed. haha.

The art of being a gentleman is intricate indeed. Walking out of the function room, i felt rewarded for attending the ad hoc talk. Maybe i'll give it a try on future social gatherings and dates. It amuses me once more how the vicissitudes of life can reap such small gems here and there, and how many minds can remain closed to unexpected changes. Maybe the dudes that left early have their appointments, but the two buggers that dragged us there definitely do not. Anyway, that will simply be their loss. But through them, i've reinforced my understanding of not slamming the door shut at something in life without a thorough grasp of it. I should thank them for that. =P

"The brighter you are, the more you have to learn." -Don Herold

Learn, Unlearn, Relearn

Life is about learning. The day you stop learning is the beginning of the end. No, it is THE END. And it is not just about learning per se, it's about Unlearning what's irrelevant, and Relearning things that will get you there in life.

I attended a fabulous leadership seminar yesterday. It's really amazing how much one can learn in such a short time. Let me share with you an excellent quote, 'It doesn't matter how big or small your steps are, as long as they are in the right direction.' One must work hard, but in the right direction.

Life is about making success happen to yourself, not watching it happen to others; and worse still, wonder how it happened to others at the end of the day. How many times have we lived in quiet desparation - you know that something's missing, you don't know what it is, and you don't know what to do about it. We work hard for the family, yet, that's the one thing that's keeping us away from family. It's a sad fact of life - life's a rat race.

That's why it is necessary to constantly learn. Chances are aplenty in life, but we have to be open to know their presence. Always give something good a try, you never know where it'll lead.
But before that, know your dream in life. Your dream is your own - your soul. No one can steal it away from you unless you choose to sell it away. We might not have time; we might not have money; we might not have status, but we can never live without a vision.

But a vision is void if no actions are taken; no values to guide those steps and no determination to overcome obstacles along the way. And while you are climbing the mountain, give others below you a hand too. Empowering others is about empowering yourself. Imagine yourself as a parent, your kids' success is your joy. That should be the way we treat all those around us. Jealousy is a vicious devil, it can destroy the most capable person. Never doubt the ablities of others and yourself.

When someone ask you, 'Why are you in this? You know nothing about it!'

Say this, 'I know nothing at the start. But i can always start by knowing something.'

Is the Red Carpet rolled out over a minefield?

Monday came with a piece of good news - a SAF Merit Scholarship Selection Board is coming up on April 15. That's definitely something that i can look forward to. Went back to 4 SIR to talk to my boss about the preparations involved for the interview and if i can clear off my Platoon Commander [PC] tour within this year. It seems like Current Affairs and weird questions are hot possibilities. Thing is, i've been so stuck up with my coursework, i can hardly remember when is the last time i flipped a newspaper. It is perhaps possible for me to clear my PC tour by September. But if i am to go to the States, then i'll have to leave by August, which will complicate things. It seems like i'll have to clear my PC tour all over again after i return. And what about SAT II? I've taken none of those, and to enter U Penn, i'll need three of them, at good grades too. How am i going to study for them? Questions, Questions... Questions that will all depend on the selection board.

The ground feeling that i've got from some of my coursemates is that an invitation to a selection board would mean that the scholarship is a huge possibility. On the one hand it is good news, on the other it would mean that the questions that i had earlier on will need urgent answers. It will DEFINITELY be a challenging year ahead.

Really miss the boys in camp, went back to chit chat with the whole bunch of them. They are still that joyous bunch that greets me readily with smiles all around. Boss [Capt Ho] was very kind in answering my questions patiently. He is one good boss that i'll love to work with man. That's the reason why i'll rather finish my PC tour under him than elsewhere. But thinking back, i'll need that one full year of PC tour to really experience what it is like to own a platoon. If i finish a PC tour this year, then i'll be missing alot. It could possibly buy me time to study for my SAT IIs. Good idea, but maybe not in the long run. Will need more consultation on this issue.

Jokes are abound about my D in Discussion as mentioned last week. Zhi Rui was particularly tickled by the fact that he scored the same grade as me. Zhi Rui is a syndicate member of mine from CTC. He seriously doesn't give a dim about anything that happened in class. He sleeps, he drools, he sprouts nonsense and jokes all day; and when asked a question, he will simply say he agree with whatever opinions thrown out earlier. And he scored an A for AOS test! So, he strongly advised that i do exactly what he does in class. I can perhaps improve my grades a little. =P That's rather true, just lay back and soak in the stuff, rather than talk too much. Most will buy that conclusion, but the foolhardy me will still ask questions that irks me nonetheless, though i'm definitely starting to sleep more often in class! Maybe i'll get a C for discussion this time? Hahaha.

Watched City of God - a Brazilian ghetto film in camp on Wednesday. It was a very disturbing story surrounding the forming of an infamous hoodlum gang in this ghetto called the City of God. There was plenty of violence, and sexual insinuations - basically daily dealings within the ghetto. Kids were shooting people for fun, people get mugged everyday and good businesses get robbed. Violence begets violence, the film ends with the hoodlum linchpin - Lil' Ze geting shot by a gang of kids, the oldest of them only an approximate 12 or 13 years old - the age that Lil' Ze murdered an entire motel, about 30 years ago, before launching into a full crime and shooting spree. It was a story told through the eyes of a photographer working for a tabloid agency, who grew up alongside Lil'Ze. There was a comedic theme to the film; portraying a mood that is so nonchalant it was pretty unnerving. It seems like living with violence is as natural as going to work and school everyday. Apparently, City of God was based on a true story. Boy am i glad that i live in Singapore, where people dare to walk on any streets, anytime of the day.

The week ended with a chat with JJ, another coursemate of mine who studied at Berkeley, and have been around the world on backpack trips. He heard that i was going to sign on and gave me his two cents worth of dissuasion. He was very apprehensive of a career in the army. To him, working in the army is equivalent to working with a bunch of idiots and having little hopes of reaching the tops of a larger corporate world out there, to put it very bluntly. He was also worried that i'm getting the scholarship to get away, somewhere, which is myopic and childish.

I made it clear that i'm firstly not in this for the big bucks, but for the experiences that i'll gain from working with people from diverse backgrounds, and the possibility of positively influencing the lives of the multitude that will inevitably pass through the NS phase of their lives with the Army. I'll also like to delve more into the application of tactics and strategies - the area that i'm really interested in. The military business is indeed the most demanding of all human endeavours, at least theorectically. There are inevitably jackasses and idiots who are in it for the cash and prestige, or just to pass time, giving trainees D for Discussion for example. Hahaha... But which organization is entirely purged of these individuals? To be very practical about it, it is the presence of these individuals that will allow you to rise up higher on the hierarchical ladder. This fact applies everywhere. A career with the Army will also allow me to understand more about inter-personal dynamics and how to deal with difficult people with tact - skills that no textbook can teach. Furthermore, which job pays you to keep fit and talk cock?

To go somewhere is everyone's dream, i too wish to visit the places that JJ had been to - Argentina, Chile, Spain, even City of God for that matter, just to check out if it is really that horrible. But Singapore is still my home, and i'm perfectly happy staying here. It is indeed still a viable option to go into travelling in the second career after Army. I'll only be 42 - 45 then; a little more mature, but definitely no less physically or spiritually able than now. As a matter of fact, i'm perfectly fine even without overseas scholarships; i'll be happier to stay at good SMU and carry on paddling!

But studying in a different environment is something that i'll need rather desparately. SMU will likely offer that, but it all started in Wharton School of Business in U Penn, so studying there would be even more ideal. Studying an excellent Econs programme with Chicago U is attractive too. And why am i desparate for a new studying environment? Because i got D for Discussion even when I am encouraged to speak up in class! And i am arrogant for not who i am, but my looks. It has been status quo for a good 12 years of studying before, now it is coming back to haunt me - No-one listens contextually, everyone crawls to the top so that someone else loses for us to win and grades are mostly everything. Sigh, actually a career with the Army will compound this problem. But as a SMS scholar, i will be given the chance to change that, and that is why i'll only go for SMS and nothing else. Anything less is to take away that chance to create my ideal working environment, which i do not need at all.

I'm not sure if JJ was entirely convinced, but I think i am. It is the Red Carpet or never.

'Ah, but is the Red Carpet laid over a minefield?' asked Zhi Rui.

Good question, but as you flip over the carpet to prod for mines, you'll have to step on the Red Carpet first. So far, a few mines are being diffused. At the first knowledge that i can shift the carpet away in a new direction to avoid the mines, i will.