The rock off my chest

After 3 and a half long years, Debbie and me have finally met up. I was really excited prior to our meeting at 7pm. All sort of thoughts were running through my mind - How will she look like? Will she still remember me? Will she be able to hold conversations openly? And the most important questions of all - Will that heart thumping feeling return? If it does, what am i going to do about it?

Real dumb questions, if you ask me. But my mind was on auto pilot, and screeching at unimaginable speed. After all, i've waited for 3 and a half long years to close this loop.

Debbie ran a little late, and i swear that the brief 5 mins was equivalent to the longest plunge in my life. I visually searched my immediate surroundings and finally found her down the pedestrain path, heading my direction. Her hair's longer, but it was largely still the Debbie that i used to know.

I stood up and smiled at her. Should i hug her? Nah, not close enough to do that. So i tapped her shoulder and asked her what can i get her. She said barley with a smile. So far so good.

Small talks nowadays are governed by the simple F.O.R - Family, Occupation, Recreation. So it was easy picking up stories from her about her past 3 years. I just simply let go of all inhibitions and talked like i've never talked before in my life, and she was listening in attentively. But she always stop short of talking about her family and her feelings; still that same emotional wall that i cannot penetrate.

I proceeded to show her my photos, to some good laughters. Then we spent a long time talking about how she can help my sis, who's suffering from mild bi-polar [depression - hyperactivity], recover her own self. Debbie's gonna be a Occupational Therapist, so she had tonnes of suggestions on how i can help improve my sis's conditions. It was interesting to know that she had matured so much since the last time that i've talked to her. That's like, December 2001!

Anyway, the conversation ended there and it was time to part our ways again.

I offered to walk her home, but she was rather apprehensive, so i said ok, we shall part here then.

"Shall we meet up again some time soon, like next month?" i prodded.

"We shall see." is the answer.

Alright then, i'm cool. And that's it. The meeting that's 3 and a half year in the making came to an end.

I searched my feelings thereafter and found that there's nothing about her and me anymore. I'm telling you, that's one of the biggest relief in my life. Can you imagine what i have to go through again if there's still something? She's in UK while i'm here in Singapore. And when she's in Singapore, i'll most probably be in the States. That will be the longest drawn out real live soap opera in the world. Thank goodness that the rock is off my chest. Good stuff.