Tears for the Fallen Angels

I was at the cinema on 19th May to watch the final installment of the Star Wars Saga. This was my first movie in a cinema in as long as eight months! It was a Thursday morning but i was charged 8 dollars! I thought it was to be 6.50 per ticket, but the ticketing lady told me that prices have been adjusted upwards once more. Man, that's like a 30.7 % hike! This movie has better be good, i thought, if not i'll be absent from cinemas once again, for as long as a year this time.

Once again, i'm watching a movie alone. I've asked my sis along, but obviously she's not willing to watch with me, my guess is that she'll rather watch the show with her boyfriend. Then i did my deliberation of who to chio to go watch the movie with but everyone seems to be hitched nowadays, even those that are not hitched turned out to be too lazy to wake up early in the morning to secure the tickets on the opening day of Episode III.

Of course i'm not complaining. After all, i've enjoyed watching movie with no one else but my chips and drink. Thursday was different though, my companions were the very famous Ang Mo Kio Tip Top Curry Puffs and Slurpy. Watching movies alone is cool because there are few considerations involved before laughing aloud or jerking off tears as and when i want to. The cinema was practically empty save for a handful of retirees and kids who skipped school. I've brought along a bag to hide my companions who in turn managed to sneak past the 'No Outside Food and Drinks' sign at the entrance unscathed.

Episode III has the darkest plot within the whole six part saga, and of course everyone was interested in how the cult figure Darth Vader came into being; and how the Jedi Council was ousted and driven to near extinction by the Chancellor Palpatine cum Emperor Darth Sidious, who demolished the Democratic Galactic Republic and began the Empire; and in so doing, exacted a revenge for the perpetual enemy of the Jedi's - the Sith.

My tears were for Anakin Skywalker, the good Jedi turned evil as he was seduced by the powers of the Dark Side. Anakin saw a premonition - his wife dying at childbirth. As he was not able to save his mother from dying when he was a young Jedi apprentice, he was thus driven by his desire to save his wife from this premonition. This and his frustration of having to live a Spartan life as a Jedi drove him to seek the quickest way out to achieve his aims and hence, he embraced the art that the Chancellor was offering to gain greater knowledge and power, insofar as he could resurrect the dead and save his wife.

To prove his allegiance, he murdered everyone left in the Jedi Temple, basically helpless young kids and unaware guardians, while the Jedi Masters were in the Outer Rim battling the insurgent droid armies - a diversion created by the Chancellor. One by one the Jedis fell; bit by bit Anakin faded away within the growing Sith Lord Darth Vader. Little did Anakin know that he was going to fulfill his own prophecy, as his transformation into Vader broke his wife's heart, who eventually lost the will to live on after giving birth to a pair of twins.

I felt alot of pain as Darth Vader was presented on screen in his infamous black outfit and helmet; and as Padme, his wife, passed away at the same time. Although this secne was within a sci-fi movie, its reflection of life carried alot of truth. There are so many good people out there who wished for the best for their family and themselves when they first began their journey into this world, only to be deceived by the promises of quick bucks, high life and status. They neglected country, society, family and values to fulfill those promises, and were seduced by their powers.

While it is true that all of us make mistakes; honest ones or not, that's another issue. Some learnt how not to make the same mistakes again; and some learnt how not to let the mistakes taint their names and lifestyles. Some coped with them, some covered them up. Some became better people, while others went down the slippery road of decadence. Some gained more than what they have lost in the process, while some lost things that they will never gain back - the very things that they swore to protect and love. Mistakes are inevitable forks in the road; they provide choices. But which road to take to reach our chosen destinations, it's ultimately up to us. Truly, i teared for Anakin because i was tremendously disturbed by this embodiment of the many fallen angels around me. If you know the same stories that i know and see the same people that i've seen, you would understand why i tear for the fallen. These fallen angels were my relatives and friends; some of whom are now nothing more than strangers.

It is all about self management; about us having controls over emotions and not the other way around. Emotions are usually manifested within desires, which in turn form dreams as a collective entity. Dreams are powerful tools. But just like science and religion, they can be potent weapons used to sway thoughts and actions. Dreams, like science and religion, must be kept under check and constant monitoring. While it is everything good to dream big, we must also know that they form big desires within us. This is where values come in; where our understanding of right and wrong will guide our footsteps as we venture further and further away from the comfort of home to find our purposes in life and to fulfill our destinies - our dreams. This constant serach for bliss must be continuously reviewed and only the individual in all of us can do it for ourselves. Yes, it is alot of trouble; alot of hardwork and patience- virtues that seemingly have no place in this hyper-speed, hedonistic world where INSTANT is the catch word - instant mee, instant connection, instant gratification. But when it comes to making decisions and taking active steps in the right directions in life, there is nothing instant about it. It is still the age old self management process; a slow, trial and error journey that we must all take.
There are no way back for many of the fallen angels that i know, but i do hope that there will be an Episode VI for many of them, in which Anakin cast down the Emporer into a chasm, killing the Darth Vader in him and redeemed himself as a father, finally bringing a balance to the Force. But for now, they, like Anakin Skywalker, are lost within themselves.