Oops! Freudian Slipped

Sometimes it's just plain hard to keep something from someone. The truth will almost certainly spill out, one way or another. Keeping the truth away from smart and paranoid individuals is even harder, because they will strive to find out your subconscious preoccupations; like making you commit a Freudian [Froydee an] Slip.

This is what happened:

Being the good cheapskate and shopper that i am, i checked out the office of my sister's financial advisor - Let's call him Mr J. That dude works in this special branch of Phillips Capital: FIN-EXIS Advisory & Associates, located at Parkview Square. [The gothic looking, statue filled building in Bugis that boasts of the highest rental rates in Singapore - whole lot of hot air really.]

I arranged a meeting with a manager on Wednesday, to enquire about the means of remuneration for Financial Advisor Reps like Mr J. Of course i kept this away from Mr J, simply because he might not tell me everything that i need to know. This meeting is purely an act of double-check; a right that a consumer like me has before purchasing anything. Of course, if what the manager and Mr J said tally, my trust in Mr J will be hugely boosted.

So i arrived on 1530h at Parkview Sq. It is indeed an expensive place, but that's not the point. The main focus is on Phillips Capital and its very clandestine operative - FIN-EXIS Advisory & Associates. [I can't find them on the net nor in the phone book, obviously their operations are highly private] I travelled to the eleventh floor and indeed it is there. So far so good, Mr J passed the first round - the existence of a proper office.

Wednesdays are their recruitment day. So when i first walked in, not knowing that fact, the lady at the counter - Ellisa, asked me point blank for a resume. I stared at her blankly and said that i'm here to meet with a manager to find out the company's means of remuneration for reps, not to look for a job. She was rather confused because usually young punks like me are there looking for a manager only for one reason - to look for a job. So she tried again, and i told her the same thing once again. Dumbfounded, she sat me down in an interview room and asked me to fill in a job application form nonetheless. It seems like i have to fill that form up before anyone would see me, so fill the form i did.

The manager came after a short while and he was rather funny 'cos he shook my hand, asked for my name and did not bother to give me his, not even after 2 prompts from me. Naturally i thought he has some hidden agenda and was immediately on the defensive mode.

Once again he asked me whether i'm here for a job. I said no, i'm here to find out the means of remuneration for your company's reps [3rd time]. He frowned and asked me why do i want to know that. That's when i have no choice but to inform him that i'm here because i was approached by a rep. I was extra cautious in not revealing the name of the rep. I didn't want to get Mr J into trouble.

So after a few rounds of Q & A, most of what Mr J told me tallied with the info given by the manager, except for one - the lack of prospectus for the customers to keep. But that one is alright, because there are tonnes of online prospectus and information on the net.

So i happily ended my meeting and went off.

That night, at 0030h, i received a call from Mr J. He did the customary conversation starter, "Hey Cecil, how are you doing?" But it was soon revealed to me that Mr J was approached by his manager today, who was "tremendously" concerned over Mr J's standard of service because, "a customer named Cecil was here to complain about you today."

Now, how in the wide world did the manager know that the Rep who approached me is Mr J? And how can he reveal my name to him? I have not filed a complaint, so why is Mr J claiming that i have made a complaint? There are only 3 explanations to these questions:

1. The manager did a check on me because i wrote my details down on that application form and over-reacted over the whole episode. Maybe Mr J was already black-listed, or maybe Mr J is the star performer of his team? So it's the manager.

2. The manager that i've talked to is not the manager for Jason, so maybe there are some inter-team rivalry that prompted some bad mouthing to occur? So it's the firm.

3. Mr J is over-reacting on his own accord. The manager did approach him, but he did not reveal my name. Mr J thought about which of his most recent customers could be so cheapskate as to double-check on his words, and he thought of me. Subsequently, he called me up and Freudian Slip me by making me acknowledge that the customer was me. [I have no need to lie so of course i told the truth] Perhaps his reputation is far more important than a good, responsible customer. I understand that he was eyeing that manager post for a while now. So my double-check came at a terribly wrong time for him? So it's the rep.

Anyway, i simply apologized for any inconvenience caused, and told Mr J that i will call back that manager that i've spoken to to clarify things; that i did not file a complaint and that he should not have revealed my name.

I thought that should suffice. But no, Mr J called the very next day and spoke to my sis about this issue as well, trying to find out whether we have collaborated to get at him.

What the hell is wrong with him? I was merely there to double-check on his words; a right that i have as a consumer. So why the big hoo-ha? It was not that i did not trust him, it is just that as a responsible shopper of his own money and financial future, i have to double check on the words of sales people; all salespeople, not just him!

Well, maybe he has never met a customer who's as difficult as me. He has had it easy for the past few years - his customers were ignorant, and credulous; always ready to pass their money over to Mr J to handle. But not me bro, i'm a tough shopping nut to crack.

So, even though Mr J had my financial trust after the tally with the manager, he did not sell me his character. He is too emotional, too vengeful and too wily. This is what he said, "As much as you have your right to choose your financial advisor, i have my right in choosing my customers." While he is correct in stating this, he is too lofty! He needs a good lesson in failure so that he can learn that every customer is precious. Even if you do choose, don't whine to a customer!

So now, we have both came out of this as losers. I didn't get a quote from him on my insurance, and he has lost a customer, and a friend, in me. Typical zero-sum game attitude.

Sigh, i should have told him the truth that i'm going up to his office to meet up with a manager. Have him bring me up, and then speak to the manager alone. I'll still have accomplished the same thing. I've handled this whole double-check incident wrongly.

Well, let this be a lesson that the truth and our subconscious preoccupations should not be hidden. The truth always have a way of revealing itself; like this propable Freudian Slip trap that Mr J used on me. Clever move, but totally unnecessary. Why? because DollarDex, here i come.

Navigating the Singapore Financial Advisory Maze

I've been talking to 3 financial advisors to date, all claiming to be independent and not fed by varying commissions or fees paid by product providers such as insurance companies [Prudential/Aviva/Great Eastern Life etc] and fund management companies [Schroder/Aberdeen/Fidelity etc]. One is purely fee based - all commissions and sales charges are either refunded or waived; one has a fixed rate for all funds and sells only low commissions paying term insurance policies; the last one has "Referral Cuts" and fixed salary from the product provider as long as the product he sold remains in force, meaning that the customer hold on to the product.

The first one's company offers limited product ranges, hence he can't match better deals on insurance and the returns on the best funds out there. Thus, he had no choice but to price himself out of the competition. His company's fees are reasonable for working adults but definitely not for a poor student like me.

The second financial advisor is the one that i like the best, so far. He wrote a book which i've read, and understood to be very insightful. His office has some of the most advance investment technologies which can demonstrate quotes and figures almost instantly. The ways with which he earns his living are put up on the company's webpage and are reasonable for small investors like me. His insurance philosophy is refreshingly new and highly relevant to reality, as oppose to other insurance theories out there. His idea of actively managing and rebalancing a diversified portfolio that matches my risk tolerance level is not new, but his mathematical concepts; like risk-return ratio, expense ratio and value-averaging [instead of Dollar-cost Averaging] are really interesting as they provide much more assurance and growth possibilities than the first. The only downside is again the range of products that he offers, though larger than the first, it is still not the largest one around.

The third guy is my sister's financial advisor. He has one glib tongue and is highly persuasive. He is one sales master and the session with him is rather stressful as I have to be on the constant look out for any sales trap that he is trying to get me into using emotional selling techniques. Nonetheless, he is the only financial advisor that stated that my retirement goal [age 45] is a achievable target [the former 2 both seem sceptical of my goal]. He is also the only one that has a very structured approach to providing tailored lifetime financial advice: a booklet that allows him to note down everything about me at the onset of our meeting. That includes my life and financial goals, expense habits, current assets and debts, and the immediate tasks that he has to do. He offers a comprehensive range of products that are highly competitive in terms of their costs and historical returns. The only catch is that he is lacking tremendously in transparency. When asked about his means of remuneration, he was evasive and mentioned "referral cuts" and fixed monthly salaries from product providing companies [kind of like commissions don't you think?]. He also frowns on his customers who would prefer comprehensive knowledge on the products that he is proposing. This lack of transparency certainly warrants my disapproval.

The first financial advisor is certainly out because his company has priced itself out of the competition and its range is too limited. The second is my favourite but i'll have to meet up with the third to see if he can beat the second one on insurance premiums and what "20 page analysis report" he will produce tomorrow. I'll need detail information on how he earns his keep again, just to double check on what he told me the last time, and forget about me buying anything first, 'cos i will have to double check everything for at least a week. He would do well to let me have a copy of the report, because if he wouldn't it is really "bye bye" to him due to his severe lack of transparency.

Sometimes the members of the local financial advisory industry are really tricky in their dealing methods, but i suspect that this is largely the same everywhere. To find out more about the the local financial advisory scene and its latest happenings, check out www.mas.gov.sg or simply call them up for further clarifications.

Most would deem the entire process of investigation too cumbersome. But there is no point in shunning away from financial advisors and their works, because one day they will search you out. It's just a matter of time. Better start now and begin to navigate the Singapore Financial Advisory Maze than to remain ignorant about it. Remember, the most risky thing to do is to keep your hard earned cash in the bank, to be eroded year after year by inflation. But before you take the plunge, always shop around, and around, and around. It may take some initial efforts, but it'll be worthed it upon reaching your retirement goal.

The Complete Cheapskate Guide to the Universe

This week i have been a good cheapskate. I went shopping for so many things, and i mean serious comparisons all across Singapore. I went shopping for a complete corporate suit, for a pair of loafers, for ties, for long sleeve shirts, a financial advisor and a religion.

Some are now frowning on my last statement.

'What? Shopping for a religion? Sacrilege!'

Wait la... Let me explain.

First, let me define shopping. Shopping to me means to nose around, understand the specifications, the value and the level of appreciation that i have of an item or a person or a philosophy, and eventually buy that item or a person's ideas or beliefs, with money or with my heart or both .

As you can see, my shopping is alot about understanding, not just about spending in monetary terms. The thing is, everything that i do i'll always look for the best deal - the one that suits me best; and the most economical, should there be an involvement of monetary terms - a typical Cheapskate!

I read a book shortly after my Basic Military Training. It is called the 'Complete Idiot's Guide to being a Cheapskate'. It played a seminal role in my financial education. In the book there are two pull out reference cards detailing everything that we need to know about being a successful cheapskate:

Characteristics of the Successful Cheapskate:

They -
1. Value their relationships with people more than money
2. Continually educate themselves about personal finances
3. Are creative and resourceful when it comes to saving
4. Are organised in their saving approach
5. Ask alot of questions to make sure they understand everything and are never afraid to ask for a discount.
6. Avoid excessive amounts of debt
7. Always shop around, and around, and around
8. Have the discipline to say 'no' to a bad deal
9. Have the willpower to delay purchases they don't need
10. Save and invest on a regular basis
11. Have powerful, written plans of action to achieve their financial dreams
12. Respect everyone they have dealings with
13. When they can, buy used instead of new
14. Understand the basics of the investment markets.

Top Twenty Biggest Wastes of Money

1. Buying lottery tickets and entering sweepstakes
2. Purchasing a new car every two years
3. Investing in whole life insurance, commodities, options, land in Transylvania, or anything else you are clusless about.
4. Buying Investment Linked Plans
5. Purchasing extended warranties on appliances and electronics
6. Taking action on a 'hot' stock tip
7. Lending money to friends
8. Shopping on Home Shopping Channel
9. Getting suckered into 'get rich quick' opportunities
10. Paying fees on your checking account
11. Using credit cards like a regular loan
12. Buying name brands on a regular basis
13. Keeping money in low-interest savings accounts
14. Buying anything at convenience stores
15. The car dealer extras
16. Shoping at ritzy retail and grocery outlets
17. Paying an annual fee on a credit card
18. Eating at upscale restaurants.
19. Paying for seasonal tickets for football games.
20. Falling ill frequently.

Those highlighted in bold are the reasons behind my motivation to shop around, and around, for good deals, inclusive of finding my faith. Simply because i will never commit to something that i'm clueless about, and i'll always ask questions and seek for clarification before buying or accepting anything.

While it is true that the experience or relationship that pious individuals have with their Higher Order Being is something that is unique and usually inexplicable, forming the basis of faith for many individuals, i firmly believe that we humans, gifted with logic, should do better than to submit to emotional exhortations as a basis for taking actions. That simple gift is something that we have been practicing everyday; when we are teaching our kids, shopping for retail goods, investing in the stock market and when we are closing a deal for our company. So why should we exclude logic while searching for a belief upon which we ground our thoughts and behaviours on? Like what Stephen Covey has mentioned in his book - 7 habits of highly effective people: 'There is a difference between stimulus and response, and that is our choice of response.' We can choose to be proactive - make things happen [like actively seeking to understand], or we choose to be reactive - wait for things to happen [wait for a miracle or an experience]. This significant difference between stimulus and response will decide our degrees of success in life and our destinies.

'But you can't know everything,' said some of my pious friends, 'just open up your heart and you will feel the strength of the Lord.'

Agree. I cannot know everything, but at least i can begin by knowing something. Experience or emotions should not precede understanding. Why? Because one has to first know that he has to open up his heart to Him. That simple knowing itself precedes the feeling of His strength. With understanding will come experience.

Some will say that i question too much. Knowledge makes one proud; knowledge is a sin. Well, they are mistakened! The more i know, the more i know what i don't know, and know what i never thought i knew. The more i know, the more humble i need to be cos there are still so many things that i don't know. When knowledge is a sin, and when one ceases to seek knowledge, one becomes ignorant and credulous; and when combined with our inherent human pride, we become arrogant, and that to the detriment of all. How do people make a giant kiling on the stocks market? Why, there are credulous [people who don't know what they don't know] and arrogant [people who thought they know all] stock holders out there, playing the stocks up and down, day-in day-out. It is because of them that those who are savvy made their bucks.

When you are disciplined and are always seeking to know and learn more, you will save more time and money, and of course, more months on your life span as you are distressed less often. This is the same everywhere, including religions. When you understand the fundamental philosophy that guides a particular religion [eg. its views of the existence of a Creator/Creation and an End to it all]; how it views another religion; and how it regards thorny issues such as homosexuality, you will stay true to that faith for a longer period of time, even a lifetime. The experiences will then follow suit because your heart and mind are opened. Religion, afterall, is a relationship between you and a set of beliefs that transcends human intelligence or strengths. Before that relationship can blossom, one must first know what sets of beliefs to associate with.

When you strive to be a good cheapskate, you will have a worldview that will allow you to be so much happier, wealthier and healthier; spiritually, monetarily, physically, emotionally and mentally. Aren't these five universal aspects of human endeavours most everything that we own and strive to improve in our lives? Being a cheapskate does not, however, mean being a miser; it means shopping to save time, efforts and money long term so that they can be translated into something more beneficial - spend time and money on family, education, charity etc.

Here's the Vaga-bond caveat:

'Though cheapskates save on money and time over the long term, they are never stingy on building quality relationships and knowledge with what they have saved.' Now, that's a true blue cheapskate.

Got to have faith

Today, for the first time in my 21 years on this Earth, someone said to me that i'm attractive. It was a moment of shock because i have no idea whether to be glad or to be freaked. You might be guessing that the kind words came from a lady. No, my friend, i was complimented by a grown man! Here's how it happened.

I was wandering at Best Denki Plaza Singapura, looking out for computer specifications when there was a tap on my left shoulder. I spun around and saw a bespectacled Caucasian man smiling at me, with wrinkles hugging his cheeks and the sides of his eyes. He must be a good 50 years old. He spoke with an American accent.

'Hi, are you Malaysian?'

'Um, nope, i'm local.'

'Oh.' That was all he said, but he was still standing there, glancing at me, straight in the eyes, and still smiling.

'Why? Do i look like a Malaysian?' I asked curiously. There is something rather spooky about his glance. Something that i have never seen before staring right at me.

'Oh, yes. Quite a bit as well.' He replied, still smiling.

'Well, what are you doing here? How can i help you?'

'I'm actually here on a business trip, and i'm just shopping around.'

'Yeah, me too, looking for a laptop. You?'

Then it came; the statement came. Out of the blue, just like that.

'Well, i was just looking around, and i found you rather attractive.' He said with honesty in his eyes, and yeah, at that moment i realised what's spooky about that glance - lust. I have seen it in hundreds of Lao Di Go [Old Horny Men] before, staring unabashedly at the boobs, butt and legs of a striking lady walking by. Never in my craziest dreams have i realised that i would be a victim of lusty glances!

I stood there, mouth half open, eyes strickened by sheer shock and disbelief at what i've just heard. Searching, i was desparately searching for a reply to that. I'm straight dude, and i think you can tell from my expression right?

I gathered my fullest composure and said, 'Well, i'm here looking for a laptop. You know of any good ones?'

He gave me the name of IBM and some thumb drives that he uses. I stared at my watch and exclaimed, 'Oh! Look at the time, i really have to go. See ya!' Then i left the store, walking normally, but my body was rushing with adrenaline. That's one predator that i ought to get away, and get away fast! But i stayed cool man, no point making a big fuss out of it in public . I found refuge in the Times bookstore on the same floor and man i swear i would run like hell should he follow right behind me in there. I dove straight into the children's section, where parents and kids were busy reading and scouting for books. I immediately took out my John Grisham novel and started devouring it. I mustn't look up, mustn't fidget or walk around. The gay dude may have noticed me, but he'll never get as close as to chat me up for what he wanted insofar as i'm at the children section. Heck, there are kids and parents around man. Superb move, i thought, superb. Now, just pray that the gay dude will act according to my plan. I'll stay here for an hour and he'll only have to give up. So i calmly read my book and true enough, no gay dudes bothered me anymore.

In retrospect, i was indeed spooked out more than i felt appreciated. But undeniably, a word of affirmation from the most unlikely source was encouraging, but what would i have done should it be from a striking Caucasian lady? What would i have done? [Kind words of this sort will only come from foreigners i reckon. Singaporeans are way averse when it comes to giving appraisals.] I will probably thank her and ask her for her name and chat her up a bit. Maybe her number after that, but nothing further. I will too seek refuge in Times should she advance any more than she should. There are no free lunches in this world, so the number will be the furthest that i'll go. Man, what if she's a he and he's a she? I don't even want to venture there.

Good thing that i've stayed calm. But man, that gay dude has guts. I will most probably simply admire from afar and do nothing else should i see someone i fancy. Maybe I'll create a coincidence by bumping into her a few more times, but that's it man. He has got some guts, i've got to give it up to him.

I wonder if he is a person of a certain faith. Wonder what faith in this world would condone gayism? Would there be a ministry that condones gay activities? What kind of house of worship will that be? Whorehouse? Or a house that allows individual interpretations on the issues of sexuality? As far as i know, not a single mantra or bible or religious publication in this part of the world dwells on the issue of gayism/lesbianism. Wonder what the Christians, Buddhists, Muslims, Jews and their likes have to say about the issue of confused sexuality?

I think the time has finally come for me to make a decision on my faith. I've been attending church for the past month, and i think today's sermon is actually not too bad. The pastor was talking about how Churches must be forward looking to stay current and relevant to the world that we live in.

'Traditions will remain, but only those that are sacred to the Bible. We believed in Jesus, and the word of the Bible not for the promised price of Heaven and the threats of Hell; but for bringing down the Kingdom of Heaven on Earth, through the power of the individual in all 7 pillars of family, religion, education, government, media, workplace and the community.'

Powerful words, but i'll be giving Buddhism a chance as well, see what my mom's mentor has to say about issues close to my heart. Gayism is definitely one of them, after today's traumatic episode. From then on, i'll make a decision. No-one has ever brought me into a mosque, so i've figured that i'll be dropping by the one in Ang Mo Kio on friday and talk to a few imams.

I have always been a monotheist, but i have not been intrigued by any places of worship in particular, especially their hypocritical crowds. Today i did a litmus test on the dude who brought me to his City Harvest Church for the past month - Yuan Tai. I purposely came late; forgot to bring my $2 ticket and needed his help. He did show a little hesitation, but he still helped nonetheless. This is not the first time that i'm late, i have been late and gave no shows for a couple of times before, but he was still cool. Looks like he has indeed undergone some positive changes. He was rather ill-tempered before; a typical no-nonsense guy. But now he's a little changed, and i'm beginning to see some good in his church.

So this is the plan, if i can't get satisfying answers from either my mom's mentor or the imams, i'll keep going to church to listen to what the pastor has to say about the Bible, 'cos i like City Harvest Church's vision. So far i've felt no miracles, but being a monotheist, i've got to have faith in at least one of the 3 biggest monotheistic religions. I guess i'll also be searching out the Jewish community, to see what they have to say.

If you ask me whether i can live without a recognised faith, I'll say definite 'Yes, i can.' But why not find out more before saying 'Nah, none of these hypocritical shit is for me.' So for now, I've got to have faith that i can find my faith.