Poor Dad, will you please make up your mind?

Growing up is indeed painful business, especially when parents incessantly insist that they know more than you in terms of lessons of life due to their vast experiences. While i do agree that they know more, i'll challenge them as to what have those experiences done to them? Their relinquishment of their freewill. They become timid and get pushed around by people - the taxman, HDB, the bank, the utilities board, the doctor etc - big bullies of life. I may not have seen plenty of the lessons that life has to offer, but i've read up on the many years before me to foresee the kind of quagmire that my parents are in now lying right in my future path. If i don't do something to alter my future, i'll be stuck, just like my parents, in the quagmire of financial difficulties and debts.

To tell you the truth, i'm already a foot in it. Should i attend SMU in the coming July without a scholarship, i'll be starting my post-study life with a debt to fend off. But i've finally received a positive reply from SIA for the first round and i'm definitely going to give my all for the second round. I'm right now experiencing the shoving of life's bullies indirectly. From the several sessions with my dad regarding the family's financial issues, i've come to realise the immense psychological pressure that financial imprudence and debts can put on my parents; and its impact on the children - my sis and me.

Last night i demonstrated once more the deficits that my dad will suffer from should he not get rid of the mortgage, vis-a-vis the savings that he'll enjoy once its gone. We have a lump sum to fend it off now, but my dad's worried about our liquidity abilities to react to unforeseen circumstances should that lump sum be gone, which is valid concern.

But even if the lump sum is around, and something happens to say, Grandma, would our lump sum be enough to fend off the mortgage and my grandma's medical fees at the same time? The answer is a simple no. We will be sinking even further in this case. Fending off the mortgage now will resolve one of the biggest problems in life. Comparing this with the situation of trying to foot the mortgage and, touch wood, my grandma's medical bills at the same time, which one is more acceptable? I'm quite sure that the answer is obvious. Further more, my mom's savings insurance account is maturing in 2 years' time. The cash from that maturing account will be sufficient to cover any substantial expenses from then on. But my dad's still very worried about the period from now until that maturity date. He is still reluctant to begin a life without debts, which really frustrates me because from where i see it, we really have no two choices out of this. It's either undercutting the savings further to foot the mortgage or begin saving now, after getting rid of he mortgage.

It's about simple economic sense of knowing which means will put more into your pocket and which one will not. It's about having more, not less. Who will pay more for an item on the shelf when we can get the same item for less at another shop? There are no such stupid shoppers in this world. Yet, when it comes to purchasing bigger things in life - homes, cars etc, many choose to pay more, not less, through loans. My very own family example would elucidate the matter.

As the session became more of a financial lesson for my dad due to his lack of financial knowledge, he sensed that his authority was being challenged by me and got defensive, utilising his arrogance [Pride + Ignorance] to cover up his indecision arising from his lack of understanding. He insisted that his experience tells him that having liquidity in hand is way better than fending off the mortgage once and for all. Such an irrational remark after our 2 hours worth of rational analysis? This is economic folly and a total waste of the past 2 hours. This is purely a case of paradigm shifting; a changing of mental models. It will be entirely up to my dad to decide which road he wants to take from now on. I've done all that i could and nothing else, save for more persuasion, can be done.

Poor Dad, will you please make up your mind? It's financial independence or die dead broke. Make your choice.

Taking stocks

'Stocks buying is risky business,' says Lay-Z, 'it is just like gambling.'

Igneron agrees totally. 'Yeah, my aunt got burnt really badly. She lost some 50,000 dollars.' They smiled and congratulated each other on having no part in it.

D'Ligen came along. He heard the guys' talk and was getting increasing uncomfortable. 'Hey, I've got a question: what's wrong with investing in stocks?'

'Oh haven't you heard?' exclaimed Lay-Z, '90% of those who invested incured losses! You just can't beat the stock market!'

'Have you tried to be that 10 % yet?,' asked D'Ligen nonchalantly.

'Man, with that kind of statistics, who wants to get involved?'

'Why can't we be that 10%?' D'Ligen added.

Lay-Z and Igneron look at D'Ligen, then shook their heads. 'No thanks man, if you want to play the stocks, you go ahead. We're happy with our current pay cheques.'

Not giving up, D'Ligen wants to convince his friends, 'Hey dudes, stock investing is risky because we don't understand it. Just read up more and try it out. It's just like anything in life. All it takes is a passion to learn...'

'You tried yet?' Lay-Z challenges.

'Not yet man, i ain't have that much cash yet, but i'm reading up.'

'See, it involves so much money, and so much work. My job's already tough enough. On top of that, i've got my family, my car and mortgage.' Igneron laments.

'Yeah dude, you haven't had a family yet man; you don't know how stressful it is to plan for a family's expenses; and my boss is such a Bitch. She probably did something "extraordinary" to get that high man.' Lay-Z sniggles.

'Dude, you go ahead and dabble in the stocks man. Tell us when you make a profit ya?' Igneron steals a glance at Lay-Z and they chuckle, very much to the annoyance of D'Ligen.

What kind of friends are these? Hangout buddies? Spending buddies? I think they are just that, no more. They have lost their directions in life man. When someone talks about life that way, it is the beginning of the Rat Race - the Trap. I'm not saying that money is everything, but it does have an overwhelming control over your life. So why not control your life by controlling money? We can work, but jobs are not an end man. They are means to an end - Personal Freedom.

This week i have at least a dozen of these conversations. It is indeed a lamentable situation where 8 out of 10 people - teens of my age or dudes past studying years alike are facing. They are smart, law-abidding, committed people who care. But why are they suffering from the lack of time with family, stress, F***-Up bosses and poor health? It is the Rat Race man. We must strive to get out of the Rat Race!

Some people go through motion - 'I'm going to a good U and doing engineering cos everyone's doing so and it's something that i can fall back on; it's more specialised than business and more marketable a degree than economics, though i think the latter two subjects are interesting.'

If you ask me, that's just a waste of time. Do you really need that engineer degree to fall back on? If you need to fall back on something, fall back on your intelligence! The mind can learn anything and everthing, if you would only motivate it hard enough. Successful dudes don't need safety nets, they don't diversify; they focus. To quote Sun Tzu: To be strong everywhere is to be weak everywhere; a huge army that diversifies too vastly will be defeated my small army focused at one point. Why waste time studying a subject not in line with your life vision or a job that does not contribute to your direction in life? To diversify? To create that safety net? Why bother when you know that your strong commitments to your goals and the motivations behind them will be the strongest safety net ever! But of course, diligence and meticulousness will definitely cut down on the pain that you'll face while pursuing your goals. But firstly, know yourself - what do you want in life? How can you get there? Is that the only way to get there? What am i afraid of? How can i manage my fears? What is the best and worst thing that can happen? Once you know yourself, you will truly be in control of your life and all that's around you. You will be truly confident of your life.

Lay-Z and Igneron have just missed out capitalising on the 8th phenomenon of the world - Compound Interest Investment. If you don't know what this is, you will do well to find out about it.

You hear, they say, who's right? Don't depend on hear-say, go check it out! It'll take some work, but as always - No Pain No Gain. Be a D'Ligen today! Indeed, to my great relief, there are some D'Ligens in my circle of friends who share my lifeviews.

Unfortunately, no-one can be told what the Matrix is, you'll have to see it for yourself.

Ang Family Values

As we all know, stupid blogger.com collapsed with bouts of fits and spasms a fortnight ago. The editorial and subscribers alike were immensely pissed off by the technical incompetence of the service provider. Anyway, Blogger.com has finally waken up its idea, and here is the entry that the editorial owed:

Without my blog account, I’ve resorted to typing Sunday, April 10 2005‘s article in Word. Was actually publishing a special edition article, then Blogger decided to eat it up. Bitch.

Till now I’m still waiting for the official reply from SIA scholarship board. Did my follow-up to them via email and asked my SIA scholars friends about the waiting time involved. Seems like my reply is taking an unusually long time to arrive, or am I even gonna receive one? To think of it, my interview was alright, and my tests were fine too. Hmm, what could have gone wrong? Maybe there’s nothing. Then i called them up and realised that the interview exercise has just ended last Friday. A reply will come this week. I was being too impatient. What a laugh i had with the lady that answered my call.

'Sorry,' i said, 'But my friend Haresh - a SIA Scholar said that his reply came within a week. That's why i've called. So sorry to bother you.'

So, no worries. Good thing i've found out anyway.

But something that needs worrying is my family. My folks have not been doing quality communication since we last moved into our current house. My sis is running up against ill images that my parents have of her, and all three are relying on me to communicate for them. I am telling you, that’s some tough work. Each of my folk is headstrong, arrogant at times, yet not well versed in financial literacy, not that I am, but I felt that they ought to know more than me at their current age. I was wrong man.

My folks have dreams, but no actions are taken to build them; so the dreams remain as what they are – empty dreams. My sis has dreams too, too many. There are so many that she appeared fickle-minded, losing focus in life. She is too full of herself at times and she hates good advice, never listening to them unless they are packaged really well, sugarcoated and all. All three have high principles that they will defend blindly, sometimes to their own detriments. I have my principles too, but they all surround my belief that family is paramount to success. Every strong nation in this world is characterized by one common factor – internal harmony. You can be successful in most things in life, but with a family in shambles, living up to the name of success is extremely hard.

Hence, I spent hours everyday, for the last week, just talking and listening to everyone in my family, trying to find out what makes them tick; what contributes to their stereotyping of others and how to turn those impressions around, while opening communication nodes at the same time. It was hard work, but the current state of tripartite Cold War cannot go on. The catch here is – I am the youngest in the family. Trying to make everyone come together and pointing out their mistakes while suggesting solutions are no easy tasks. It is the state when you have 3 superiors whom you are dissatisfied with, yet trying to open them up day in day out. You can jolly well quit your job if your superior is just some high-handed B****, but I can’t quit my family can I?

There are only 4 people in my family, so I should be able to handle them. After all, I’m trained to handle a company of 104 dudes while relating to half a dozen of bosses in the Army

Walking between the Yellow Lines

Whenever i walk myself home, i will love to walk alone along this long wide street that leads from the Mass Rapid Transit Station at where i live to my flat. The time to return home is always in the evening, when the sun is setting, leaving its last rays to seep through the thick crowns of the tall trees flanking the street. Engine sounds of moving vehicles along the road are rare and the walk will normally take a good five minutes. I treasure this part of my day the most, for i would often take the time to take stock of what i've done for the day; and on sundays, reflect about my whole week.

I observed that i loathe walking on the pedestrain path. I always, always walk between the double yellow lines to the side of the road. But this is only the case when i'm returning home. Whenever i leave home, i would walk on the pedestrain path.

After some pondering, i realised that walking on a white concrete pedestrain path allows me to focus on my tasks for the day, and how they should be accomplished. I look ahead and i see people walking in-front of me, with their daily chores to attend to. They are walking with purpose; living with meaning. That helps me to look forward to my day too.

On the return, there too will be people walking in-front of me: drained out, defeated people. They will drag their feet and shoes, gaze down meaninglessly while maintaining a slight slouch. Looking at them depresses me and hence i refuse to walk on the pavement and take to the yellow lines. Gazing upon the yellow lines ahead and focusing on walking between them while listening to my favourite music collections on my MP3 player put me in the right mood for introspection. The fading sunrays reflecting off cascading tree leaves often raises my chin as i peer towards the lusciously painted evening sky. Just what i need at the end of a day!

Walking between the lines, i found many answers to various issues affecting me in my life. It was during the brief but intense 5 minutes that i'll usually think about what i really want to achieve in life.

I've got a vision in life: To live my life to the utmost of my abilities, guided by Democracy, Integrity and Inner Harmony, so as to positively impact the lives of others. That's my direction in life, and therein lies the end product - positively impact the lives of others. But how can i do so? By exercising Democracy, Intergrity and Inner Harmony. Just what are they? Democracy means equality and meritocracy - everyone is special and has his own hidden potential. Integrity refers to honesty, persistence, responsibility to commitments and moral righteousness. Inner Harmony emphasises kinship and friendship unity, lifelong learning, financial independence and freedom of lifestyle.

This week, my reflections were mainly on career options. Let's face it. We all need a job to launch us upon the path of financial independence. To a certain extent, we have to work for money first before making it work for us. But a job should never restrict the number of opportunities that i can expose myself to. A job should not be so mundane that our immediate colleague is the machine that we operate on day in, day out. A job should be one where staff development is a company policy - the best way to safeguard jobs nowadays is to upgrade people, and from there, we learn. A job should be one where people can meet and interact, share and discuss views openly and gladly.

Why the sudden rumination over careers? Because SIA and MINDEF have both replied positively with regards to a scholarship opportunity. I did a deliberate cross-examination of the job natures of a financial analyst, public relations or HR manager with SIA and that of a combat officer in the SAF. Baring all external circumstances, and assuming that i can perform relatively well in both jobs with or without office politics, which one will build me better, thus allowing me to achieve my vision earlier? The answer after 4 days of deliberation - SIA.

I have written earlier on that we need to seize that chance in life. The rate of arrival of opportunities and how quickly i can react to them will decide my fate, and that of my family. The two will also affect my world view at 30 yrs old and how i can look into the mirror and give myself a pat, saying: ' Well-done Buddy, you're on course to achieving your vision. You are getting out of the rat race soon! You are really positively impacting the lives of others!'

I don't really need that big house or posh car or credit card. I need none of those sorts. I simply need time to do what i like without worrying about maintaining the current standard of living and staying ahead of inflation at the same time. I want to write my own novels, direct my own plays and films, play my favourite sports, give back to the society and grow up and old together with my family. I need these and nothing else. I would hang my running shoes around my neck like the mice of Who Moved My Cheese!

A career with the Army is a noble concept, defending the country and all. But should the button be pressed, i will still pack up and be the first to be at the frontline, protecting those that i love. So there's no need to demonstrate my patriotism by signing on with the Army. A career with SIA in the initial 4 years of bond will indeed open me to so much more opportunities than the 8 years that i will spend in the Army [NS plus Bond]. The Army is too exclusive of the society and the world at large, while SIA is a global enterprise spanning across the world. That will be the better answer to the question of 'How to achieve my vision earlier?'

Don't be mistaken that the Army is really a sucky place, like what Tom's Dick's Harry said. The Army is a fine 'enterprise' in its own rights, boosting of great people, great technology and great work ethics and management. My decision is wholly tailored to my personal vision, for i have also written earlier that it does not matter if your steps are large or small, as long as they are in the right direction. I have my vision - my own direction in life, and i see no need to divert from it yet. If it's not broken, why fix it?

Now that the decision is out of the way, the next question is, 'how am i going to get my ass into Wharton School, U Penn?' I then asked myself, is that a necessity, a need or a desire? The necessity is a Business/Economics Degree; the need is a good university that will grant me that if i work damn hard; and of course, enrolling into Wharton School is a desire.

So, do we let emotions rule over our thoughts or do we utilise our emotions to think? Of course the latter. Why? Because it's the first step to financial independence - Making use of emotions to think and be liability and debt-free! Now that makes alot of sense, and so i made a second decision - to stay at SMU and strive for an exchange to U Penn in second year. There! Best of both worlds.

And I did these in 20 minutes of walking between the Double Yellow Lines.

Back to those poor defeated souls who walked the pavement evening after evening. I guess they would never stand in-front of the mirror to congratulate themselves for inching closer and closer to achieving their visions. I don't even think that they have personal visions in life. They are the ones led by the nose by work and money, desires and fears - fears of losing their current comfortable lifestyle and jobs. I'll never want to walk on the 'safe' pavement in the evening; never walk on the path that lacks purpose and meaning in the evening - the soulless pavement.

I walk between the 'not-very-safe' Double Yellow Lines in the evening; I live on the path of dreams.

Special Edition: Financial Education - What You're Not Taught in Schools

The more i read about it in Rich Dad Poor Dad, the more pissed i am. Why? Why am i not encouraged to read about finance and financial management in school? Why chemistry, maths, history and all those crap and not financial management?

We desparately need financial knowledge in life. Look at how people are spending their money now. While it is true that most families are rather well-off with smart and hard-working parents who rake in dual incomes, most are struggling to pay off their bills, bills that mount with every raise. Look at the man on the street, he rushes off to work at 7am, returns at 6 or 7 pm, looking all shacked out and irritated, cursing the darn traffic. He complains about his boss, the size of his pay cheque, the lack of stimulation at his work. Yet, he wakes up at 6am the next day, and drag himself off to work at 7am once again. Why? He needs that pay cheque to fend off the bills, that's why.

Look at the dentist who treats your teeth. He smiles at you and welcomes you to his clinic, which he spends a good 10 hours or so per day treating customers like you. He likes his job and does it well. He works hard and earn huge bucks. He works so hard, he goes home all beaten and rarely has the energy to help his children with schoolwork or read bedtime stories to them. He missed the graduation ceremonies, the football matches, the plays. He has fell into the time versus money trap - the dentist has lots of money, but he has no time. His children grew up knowing the maid as their Dad and Mom, should Mommy be working as well. Dad and Mom then lament that schools are not doing our kids' education any justice. School education should be more holistic, teaching them how to be a good citizen, keep them away from bad companies and teach them that Mary is not Mommy! Parents blame schools, schools lecture parents. It's a never ending cycle. To put it simply, financial management is the resolution.

There are so many other live examples of time vs money trapped individuals. The hawker that sells you hokkien prawn noodles - no time and no money; the vagabond on the street - has time but no money; and of course the dentist - has money but no time. If only they were taught financial management earlier on, they, and anyone else, can be forced into early retirement.

School is there to fill in the time gaps that parents spend at work, away from teaching their children. School is there for interactions and making friends. School is there for teachers to make their bucks. Of course, school is there for kids to learn. Learn what? Maths, Chinese, English, History, Sciences. Sounds cool. But no one teaches us financial manangement, one of the most important knowledge of life!

You see, we can be the Mathethematic Genius in class; be the Physics Olympiad Gold Medal winner; the triple S-Paper Champion of the cohort. But when it comes to financial independence, we know next to nuts! Some know a thing or two about money, but who really has a mentor in such matters? Our parents? They are just as ignorant, if not worse students in wealth management than us. Why? They are products of the same curriculum taught to us, generations after generations!

I just organised a family meeting last night to write up an income/expenditure worksheet[termed financial statement by learned accountants], pointing to a stunning S$1641 deficit per month! And not one of my folks had a clue as to how to alleviate this dire situation. I was, prior to last night, witnessing a rapid reduction in my parents' retirment savings. They don't even know where is their financial standing until the uncomfortable truth spilled out all over the worksheet yesterday. And why isn't it a surprise that we are spending beyond our earnings? We are not a family that goes for ostentatious living, nor do we laze around and earn peanuts. We are an average middle class family, living frugally and observing the filial piety laws in Singapore - we support our grandparents with whatever we can. Now, how in the blue hell did we run up against a $1641 deficit per month?

It's scary how little things - simple daily household expenses can add up to. Mortgage is a killer, not to mention medical bills for my mom's treatment. The first and the last issues are undeniable facts of life. We have dinners at home, people get sick. These are really part and parcel of life. But mortgage? Why do we need mortgage and loans? Because 4th Aunt and 2nd Uncle said that a married couple without a roof above their head to call their own; and a car to zoom around in will be lacking the proper status accorded to them by marriage. And what do they know about the long term financial impact of such liabilities? Nil.

A home bought with mortgage is not your own. It belongs the lending party, be it the bank or the government. The same goes with the Lexus or Toyota bought with car loans. Many will think of these two as their biggest assets, when actually, they remain their biggest liabilities. There is of course a way out of this: Purchase with cash. Imbecile! Cash? Who can fork out so much cash to purchase a house and a car save for the very rich? Ever wonder why they are rich? They purchase within their means and never pay interests, or extra charges. Can't afford a house yet? Rent. Can't own a car yet? Go for a car pool and go public!

But 4th Aunt and 2nd Uncle said... To the hell with their conventional wisdom. Do you want to live with a $1641 monthly deficit like my family, and so many others' as well, while striving hard to maintain a facade of normalcy every day? The first step in life is to be debt free. Now, that's something that my textbooks has never taught me. They taught me alot of maths and chem that i have since forgotten, but they have never told me that cash purchases, and being debt-free, are the way to go in life. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out the sums saved without paying interests on loans, but few would even go down that road. My family will be going down that road on 06 April 05 - the first step to financial freedom: Getting rid of our mortgage.

We need mentorship about money in life. There are tonnes of self-help financial books out there, all screaming for attention with titles like 'Financial management for Dummies' and ' 7 habits of Rich People' etc. They are all telling us the same age old stuff - be debt-free, have liquidity, invest invest invest, work to learn and not to earn. 'Money works for me! I don't work for money!' The smart works hard to earn money; the rich hires the smart to do just that for him.

Self-help financial management books should be a compulsory read in all public and private schools. Forget about hiring teachers to teach us financial freedom; if they earn by teaching, they can't teach well can they? Invite successful individuals to share their experiences during seminars and hold discussions. Demonstrate financial accounting and let the audience get their hands dirty by going through the process themselves.

But knowing is different from acting. Determination to change is a skill that cannot be taught. Realize that the urgency to be financially savvy is here everyday. Let your need to be finanacially independent drive you to learn what you're not taught in school today!